Episode 41:

[Cut to dining room. Li Liang and Mulan are already seated with Li Liang's
mother when Xiaoqian walks in with a maid. Li Liang's mother hurriedly
stands up]

Li Liang's mother: Miss Xiaoqian, come sit here.

Xiaoqian: Elder Mistress. Marshal Li. Mistress Li.

Li Liang's mother: I already told you to have the servants bring your meals
to your room so you wouldn't need to get up.

Xiaoqian [sitting down]: I'm a lot better now. They don't need to go through
so much trouble.

Li Liang's mother: Miss Xiaoqian, you truly understand how to think of

Mulan: Has the doctor come yet today?

Xiaoqian: He said the poison in my body is about 70 to 80 % cleared.

Li Liang: That's good. Miss Xiaoqian, if there's anything you need, feel
free to tell our servants to do it for you. Don't be bashful.

Xiaoqian: Thank you.

Li Liang's mother [puzzled]: Hey, where's Yiren? [Turns to maid] Where's
Miss Yiren?

Maid: She said she wasn't feeling well so she wouldn't be coming out for

Mulan: I think she is just tired out from nursing Miss Zhuang all these
days. Let me go check in on her. [Mulan gets up]

Li Liang's mother: No, let me. You stay and eat your dinner. [Mulan
obediently sits back down while Li Liang's mother leaves the room]

[Cut to Yiren's room. She is sitting on her bed and rubbing her stomach
gingerly. Every now and then she hiccups loudly and grimaces in pain]

Yiren: Oh gods above, please stop tormenting me. I beg that you won't let
anything befall Su Jili. Let him come back soon, please. Let him come back
soon. [Li Liang's mother walks in the room and is surprised to see Yiren
praying in such earnest]

Li Liang's mother: Yiren? [Hearing her aunt's voice, Yiren quickly pretends
she wasn't praying but was just stretching and doing calisthenics] What's
the matter? Is it anything serious?

Yiren: Um. It's nothing, Aunt. I'm just doing a little bit of exercise.

Li Liang's mother: The maid just told me that you weren't feeling well.

Yiren: It's nothing serious. I just don't seem to have any appetite so I
didn't want to eat dinner. I'm not hungry; I'll just have a bowl of noodles

Li Liang's mother: Do you want to see a doctor? He's here everyday anyway to
check on Xiaoqian.

Yiren: That's okay, Aunt, there really isn't anything wrong with me. Um.
Aunt, do you want some tea? [She walks over to the table and pours a cup of
tea for her aunt]

Li Liang's mother [eyes Yiren suspiciously]: You won't see a doctor. I
wonder, have you done something shameful you're too embarrassed to have
other people know about? (Possibly pregnant?)

Yiren [worried]: Aunt, are you feeling okay? You seem to be muttering to
yourself a lot lately.

Li Liang's mother: I'm feeling fine. I'm worried that maybe you weren't
feeling well.

Yiren: There's really nothing wrong with me. My stomach is just a little
upset. Oh, and Aunt, I'd like to go out for walks these next few days.

Li Liang's mother: Really? I'll go with you.

Yiren [protesting]: Oh, no, that's okay. You need to stay and take care of
Miss Zhuang.

Li Liang's mother [rueful]: Well, that's true. Don't stay out too late,

Yiren: I know, Aunt. [Hiccups loudly] Aunt, go on and finish your dinner. I'
m going to rest a while. [She turns to go to her bed, hiccuping all the
while. Li Liang's mother is puzzled by Yiren's behavior, but then gets a
grim look on her face when she figures out what is causing Yiren's

[Cut to city street. Yiren is nervously pacing back and forth waiting for
someone. We then see Liu Xiangzi exiting army headquarters. He is dressed in
his sergeant's uniform when he approaches Yiren. The two start having an
animated discussion that we do not hear. Meanwhile, Li Liang's mother is
watching them from behind a wall. Her face is horrified at the implications
of what she is seeing]

Li Liang's mother [muttering]: That damned knave! He must be trying to
abandon her. [Xiangzi puts his arm around Yiren to comfort her] That poor
child! [Her faces hardens] No! No matter what happens, I have to see to it
that justice is served.

[Cut to monastery. Jili is at a table in a sitting room, deep in meditation.
A monk enters bringing a basket of food]

Monk: Sir, your food is here.

Jili [sighs]: Thank you. [The monk leaves the room. Jili nonchalantly
watches him go and his eyes light up when he sees the basket of food] Wow.
[He excitedly opens the lid to the basket and pulls out two bowls, one with
rice and the other with cooked vegetables. His face falls when he sees the
contents of the bowls and he sets them roughly on the table. He mutters
crossly] How come all they give day in and day out is plain rice and plain
vegetables? All they did was change the packaging a little. How can I go on
like this? [His stomach gurgles loudly] I'm done for. I'm really done for.
If I go back I don't know how I'm going to face Yiren. But if I keep staying
here, I won't last much longer. [Sighs loudly] I have to think of a way out
of this. I just have to. If the abbot allows me to join the monastery, then
what? Oh, I know. I love eating meat. I love money. I like to frequent
brothels. I'll tell him that and that should be enough.

Abbot [calls from outside]: Mister Su, may I enter? [Jili sits up straighter
and pretends to resume his prayers]

Jili: Yes.

[The abbot walks in with another monk]

Abbot: Oh. Am I interrupting you? You haven't eaten yet?

Jili: I'm not hungry yet. Abbot, did you have something you wished to tell

Abbot: I have already talked to the Head Abbot. He said that since you are a
fallen immortal, we dare not interfere with divine intentions, so we cannot
accept you into our monastery. Please understand.

Jili [bursts into a grin and bounces from his seat]: That's great! The Jade
Emperor sent me to the mortal realms on a mission, so the more I thought
about it the more I realized that I'm really not suited to becoming a monk.
[Chuckles with the abbot and the monk]

Abbot: Congratulations, sir, you've finally come to that conclusion. [Jili
continues to beam and ends up grabbing the abbot in a bear hug, then
whirling him off his feet several times. The young monk bows his head to
hide the sight while the abbot is petrified with fear. Jili finally sets the
abbot down on the ground again]

Jili: I finally figured it all out. However, I just couldn't think of where
to stay.

Abbot: That's okay. You are welcome to stay here. We are here to serve
ordinary people. You must not make any hasty decisions.

Jili: Really? Thank you, Abbot!

Abbot [eyes Jili nervously]: Um. I still have other duties to attend to, so
I will take my leave now. Good bye. [He backs away slowly with the monk
behind him]

Jili: Happy trails! [He tries to shake the abbot's hand but he scampers away
quickly. Both the abbot and the monk look scared of Jili. They probably
think he is a lunatic and want to get away quickly. After they leave, he
sobers] Wait a minute. Why did I do something so stupid as to say I was a
fallen immortal? What if they believe me and try to get me to stay on as the
Head Abbot? I'm done for, then.

[Meanwhile, the abbot and the monk hurry outside Jili's door]

Monk: Abbot, why didn't you want him to join our monastery?

Abbot: How could I let him join? He really thinks he's a god. I think there'
s something wrong with his mind. You must keep an eye on him and not let him
run around, do you understand?

Monk: Yes, sir. [The abbot starts to walk away, praying diligently and
looking quite unnerved about his meeting with Jili]

[Cut to city street. Jili is leaning over a large steamer containing buns.
He inhales deeply and smiles at the smell]

Jili: These buns have meat in them, don't they?

Vendor: Yes, they're vegetable and meat buns.

Jili: They really have meat?

Vendor: Yes, they do.

Jili [laughs happily]: Give me five of them.

Vendor: Okay.

[A few yards away, Yiren is walking down the same street and talking to

Yiren: That Liu Xiangzi! He agreed to accompany me to search for Su Jili,
then suddenly he had to cancel. How am I, a lone girl, to find him? [Sighs]
I may as well ask a fortuneteller for some suggestions on where to start.

[Jili takes the package of buns from the vendor and pops one in his mouth.
He starts walking down the street towards Yiren and literally runs into her.
Yiren is about to start scolding him when she recognizes him]

Yiren: Su Jili! [Jili realizes it's Yiren, turns tail, and runs down the
street away from her] Hey, don't run! [She starts running after him] Su

[Cut to road outside of town. Yiren is out of breath and looking for Jili]

Yiren: Su Jili, where are you? Where are you? I know you like me. Why are
you hiding from me, then? [Jili is sitting behind a tree with his back to
Yiren. He can hear her calling but doesn't respond] Su Jili, I know you can
hear me. [Forlornly] Is there something difficult for you to tell me? Come
out and tell me, okay? [Jili puts his fingers in his ears to shut out the
sound of her voice. Yiren has tears in her eyes] If you don't explain things
to me, I will never be satisfied. [Pleads] Jili, please come out. Did you
come down with a serious illness? Are you afraid of being a burden to me? I'
m not afraid. Come out and talk to me. Even if it's incurable, I'm willing
to take care of you the rest of your life. I will do what I set out to do.
Jili? Jili?

[Jili is still silently hiding behind a tree. Tears fill his eyes as he
hears the anguish in Yiren's voice, but he refuses to budge]

Yiren: Fine. Keep hiding, Jili. I will find you. [Her tears fall on the
handkerchief she holds clenched in her hands. Jili starts to tremble and
shake from the emotions he is feeling. He removes his hands from his ears
and slowly stands up. Yiren has already started to walk away, but she stops
when she senses Jili's presence. Without turning around, she speaks in a
deadpan voice] Is it because you don't think I'm worthy of you?

Jili [quietly]: That's not what you said just now. You said that even if I
had an incurable illness, you'd take care of me for the rest of my days.

[Both Yiren and Jili turn around to face each other. They approach and Jili
takes Yiren's hand in his]

Jili [brokenly]: I can't marry you. [Yiren looks up in shock] It doesn't
matter how much I like you. We won't have a good fate. I don't want to
burden you. I don't want to waste your youth.

Yiren: Why can't you marry me?

Jili: Because. [He looks down at the ground] Because, I.[He tries to get the
words out but the tears are falling faster now and he can't bring himself to
tell her why. Instead, he breaks her hold from his hands and he runs away a
few yards before stopping. He turns around and cups his hands around his
mouth, then shouts] I'm an immortal! [He turns around and runs down the road
away from Yiren. She is left standing in the middle of the road,

[Cut to Xiangzi and Jili's quarters. Xiangzi walks in the room wearing his
uniform and he gingerly removes his helmet, then sets it on the table. He
sits down on the bed and yawns before reaching to remove his boots. From
outside the room, we hear Li Liang's mother barking orders]

Li Liang's mother: Out of my way! Let me in! [Li Liang's mother appears in
the room suddenly, with two of her servants with her]

Xiangzi [stands up and greets Li Liang's mother]: Oh, Elder Mistress, how do
you do?

Li Liang's mother [sternly]: Haul him away! [The servants grab a rope and
start to tie up Xiangzi. He protests but to no avail]

Xiangzi [bewildered]: What? Elder Mistress, what is this about? What have I
done wrong?

Li Liang's mother: Put a gag in his mouth!

Xiangzi: No, don't do that! [On servant stuffs a large rag in Xiangzi's

Li Liang's mother: Take him away! [The servants drag away Xiangzi. Li Liang'
s mother smirks triumphantly]

[Cut to Generals' Residence. A maid is working in the sitting room when the
two servants bring back the bound and gagged Xiangzi. He is literally
hopping mad (they tied up his legs but he can still hop around). Li Liang's
mother follows close behind]

Li Liang's mother [to maid]: Is Miss Yiren back yet?

Maid: Yes, she's back. Her eyes were all red, as if she had been crying.

Li Liang's mother [shortly]: Fine. Go fetch her. [The maid curtsies and
leaves the room. Xiangzi continues grunting through his gag in anger. Li
Liang's mother turns to him cooly] Take the gag out of his mouth. [A servant
yanks the gag out, making Xiangzi sputter a few times as he regains his

Xiangzi: Elder Mistress, what the heck has happened?

Li Liang's mother: What's the hurry? You'll find out soon enough.

[Cut to Yiren's quarters. She is furiously pacing back and forth, crying in
frustration and stamping her foot in anger]

Yiren: An immortal? Does he think I'm a fool? Su Jili! You've abused people
too much. [She breaks down and starts to weep anew.

Maid [from outside door]: Miss, Elder Mistress requests to see you outside
in the sitting room.

Yiren [dabs at her eyes with her handkerchief]: Tell her that I'm not
feeling well and wish to get some rest. We can discuss this tomorrow.

Maid: That might be a problem. She's arrested someone and brought him here.
If you don't go out, this person may not be able to get out in one piece.
[Puzzled, Yiren dries her eyes and prepares to go out]

[While Yiren is getting ready, the maid tells Mulan and Li Liang what has

Mulan: You're saying that Elder Mistress has arrested someone and brought
him here? Who did she arrest?

Maid: He's one of your soldiers, the one called Liu Xiangzi. [Li Liang and
Mulan express surprise at this news]

Li Liang: Liu Xiangzi? Why would Mother arrest him? [The door opens and
Yiren appears]

Yiren: Liu Xiangzi?

Mulan: Yiren, what's the matter? Why have you been crying?

Yiren [sniffles]: Oh, it's nothing. Maybe it was getting caught in the cold
air outside.

Li Liang: Does this issue with Liu Xiangzi have anything to do with you?

Yiren: No, it doesn't. I'm just on my way over to see what is going on. [She
hurries down the hallway. Mulan looks at Li Liang then shrugs her shoulders.
The two of them follow Yiren into the sitting room]

[Cut to room main sitting room where Li Liang's mother, the two servants,
and Xiangzi are standing around]

Xiangzi: Elder Mistress, could you please take off my bonds? We can discuss
whatever needs discussing more easily then.

Li Liang's mother: Let you go? If you run away, how am I going to find you

Xiangzi [puzzled]: Why would I run away?

Li Liang's mother: You know full well what you did.

Xiangzi [protesting]: It's because I don't know that I'm asking you.

[At this point, Yiren, Mulan, and Li Liang all hurry into the room]

Li Liang: Mother, what is this all about?

Li Liang's mother: Oh good, everyone's here. [Turns to servants] You're all
dismissed. [They bow and leave. Xiangzi tries to hop over to Mulan but Li
Liang's mother puts an arm up to block his way]

Xiangzi: General Hua, you have to save me. Look at my predicament.

Mulan [walks over]: Popo, what did he do that warrants having to tie him up
like this?

Li Liang's mother [sternly]: You're asking me what he did? I intend to give
you a dressing down for this, too.

Mulan [blankly]: Give me a dressing down?

Li Liang's mother: That's right. I know you weren't happy that I tried to
get Li Liang to take Yiren as an equal wife. But that doesn't give you the
right to order one of your soldiers to take away her virginity.

Yiren [blanches]: Mine? Aunt, what the heck are you talking about? [Li Liang
's mother pulls Yiren closer]

Li Liang's mother: Yiren, your aunt is at the helm. Go ahead and tell me all
the wrongs you have.

Yiren [protesting]: But there's nothing!

Li Liang's mother [sternly]: Still denying it? Are you waiting until the
fruits of your womb are out before you will admit it? [Yiren looks blankly
and shakes her head vigorously at Mulan. Everyone except Li Liang's mother
looks confused and puzzled by the accusations. Li Liang's mother turns her
attention to Xiangzi] I'm not going to quibble with you about your family
history. I want you to marry Yiren immediately!

Xiangzi [surprised]: Huh? Why do I need to marry her?

Li Liang's mother: Oh, so you want to abandon her and your child? Li Liang
may be willing to let you go, but I'm never going to let you off the hook
that easily.

Yiren [very embarrassed]: Aunt, what are you talking about?

Mulan: Popo, did you just say that I ordered Liu Xiangzi to, um. [She points
at Yiren's stomach]

Xiangzi [protesting]: I didn't do anything! Miss Xu and I are innocent of
any carnal knowledge. Isn't that right?

Yiren: That's right. Nothing happened.

Li Liang: Mother, are you sure you didn't make a mistake?

Li Liang's mother: How could I be wrong? I saw with my own eyes the two of
them carrying on in the middle of the street in front of army headquarters.
They were all over each other. But if it's not his, then whose child are you
carrying? [Jili just happens to walk in the room and hear this last

Yiren: It's not like that at all!

Jili: Xu Yiren, so you really are that kind of a person. You came in person
to find me and profess your love for me, but you really only wanted someone
to be your cuckolded husband.

Yiren [livid]: Su Jili! How dare you! [Slaps him roundly with her right
hand. He cringes from the force of the blow and starts whimpering]

Jili: You lied to me. Why are you hitting me?

Yiren: What do you mean I lied to you?

Li Liang's mother: So if the child is not his, then whose is it?

Xiangzi: It's none of my business. None at all.

Li Liang: Then whose business is it?

Mulan: How far along are you?

Jili: Then what rascal did this to you?

Yiren [yells]: All right! Who said I was pregnant? [Everyone points to Li
Liang's mother]

Li Liang's mother [blinks]: Hey, why is everyone looking at me? You told me
yourself. You were saying that you felt nauseous and had dry heaves.

Yiren: Aunt! I had an upset stomach!

Jili: Upset stomach? Then are you pregnant or not?

Yiren: What? [She takes a swing at him with her left hand but he blocks it
and holds it there]

Jili: Hey, a gentleman uses his mouth, not his fist.

Mulan: Hold on a minute. [Looks shrewdly at Jili] Who did you say professed
her love for you just now?

[Yiren looks caught and tries to think of a way out of the situation. She
gives up and runs out of the room. Li Liang's mother chases after her]

Li Liang's mother: Yiren! Yiren!

[Mulan follows, then Li Liang and Jili. Xiangzi is the only one left in the
room and he is still bound]

Xiangzi: Ah. The Gordian knot is untangled. [Wriggles a little and realizes
he is still tied up] Hey, can someone come help me get untangled? Servants?

[Cut to Yiren running down the hallway. She bursts into her quarters and
slams the door behind her. Li Liang's mother, Mulan, and Li Liang are
following close behind]

Yiren: Don't follow me!

Li Liang's mother: Yiren, I made a mistake. Come out and let's talk this

Yiren: Go away, all of you! I don't want to see any of you.

[On the other side of the door, Mulan takes Li Liang's mother aside]

Mulan [murmurs]: Here, let me try. [Talks to Yiren] Rest awhile first, okay?
Just remember to come out later to have dinner.

Li Liang: Mulan, how can we do that?

Mulan: Let's leave her alone for a while. Give her some time to calm down.
[She leads Li Liang's mother away from Yiren's door. Li Liang follows, as
does Jili. Spotting Jili, Mulan puts a hand on his shoulder] Hey, where do
you think you're going?

Jili: I'm giving her some time to calm down. [He tries to leave but Mulan
pulls him back]

Mulan: You're not allowed to leave. You have to stay and guard her door.

Jili: If I stay here there's nothing I can do. I really don't have anything
to say to her. [He tries to leave again but Mulan again jerks him back]

Mulan: Tell her whatever you want. [She shoves him towards Yiren's door,
then rejoins Li Liang's mother and Li Liang]

Li Liang's mother [puzzled]: Why do you want to leave Su Jili there?

Li Liang: Mother, we'd be third wheels here. Have a little tact.

Li Liang's mother: How did Su Jili get involved in all this? What's that all

[Li Liang and Mulan hustle Li Liang's mother away, leaving Jili behind. He
tries to follow but stops. He keeps taking a few steps away but gets pulled
back to Yiren's door by some invisible force. On the other side of the door,
Yiren is listening intently to make sure no one is around. She opens the
door, then peers outside. Jili taps her on the shoulder, making her jump in

Yiren [crossly]: Out of my way. [Jili bars her from re-entering her

Jili: Wait. Listen to me. I can explain.

Yiren: Explain what? I hate two things: one, listening to lies and two,
trying to cheat you into serving as a cheap father substitute.

Jili: I know I wronged you. But I also told you the truth. I really am a
fallen immortal.

Yiren: Get out of my way! [She tries to physically shove Jili aside but he
restrains her] Let go of me! You damned bastard, let go of me!

Jili [keeps holding on to her arm]: Listen to me. I wronged you by thinking
you were so low. But it's true that I can't fall for you, because I'm an

Yiren [irate]: There you go again!

Jili: If you don't believe me, you can ask Mulan and Li Liang. They know my
true identity.

Yiren [crossly]: They just share your same delusions.

Jili: I know you don't want to hear anything I'm telling you right now and
you find it hard to believe anything I'm saying. But it's the truth! Every
bit of it is true!

Yiren: You're really an immortal? Then cast a magic spell and show me!

Jili: I'm a fallen immortal. I'm not any different from a mortal.

Yiren: If you're not any different from a mortal, then why can't you marry
and have a family?

Jili: I'm afraid that one day the Jade Emperor will summon me back to
heaven. I'll hurt you then.

Yiren: Hey, do you know how long I will live?

Jili: I already told you that I don't have any magic anymore.

Yiren [shortly]: Then doesn't that solve things then? You don't know when
the Jade Emperor will summon you back to heaven and you don't know when the
God of Death will summon me to the Underworld. If I was afraid to marry
someone because I might die tomorrow, then I should stay an old maid the
rest of my life?

Jili: You know, you're right. Yiren, thank you for reminding me. We really
can do it. We really can. [Puts arm on her shoulder]

Yiren [shrugs away his arm]: You can if you want. That's your business. Now,
as for us, just now you accused me of trying to con you into marrying me to
raise someone else's kid. So tough luck! [She hurries into room and slams
the door on his face]

Jili [pounding]: Yiren! Yiren, listen to me. Yiren, I can explain. Yiren?
[She continues to ignore his pounding]

[Cut to dining room table. Li Liang and Jili are sitting together at a full
table, but only Li Liang is eating. Jili is staring blankly into space. Li
Liang finally notices Jili's dazed expression]

Li Liang: Humph. You won't eat. Now, that must be a serious problem.

Jili [quietly]: Stop teasing me.

Li Liang [sets down chopsticks]: Who told you to keep everyone who wanted to
help you far away? Well, now that things are in this predicament, I have one
thing to say: you asked for it.

Jili [shortly]: Not only are you not helping but you're also throwing rocks
into the well.

Li Liang: Oh ho, hasn't Mulan already tried to help smooth things over? I
can't even criticize you even the slightest bit? Well, no matter, I'll just
go tell Mulan not to bother. [He gets up but Jili pulls him back into his

Jili: I'm sorry. I'm in a bad mood. But I beg you to please stop poking at
my sore points.

Li Liang: Jili, let's get one thing straight first. Yiren is my cousin. Do
you truly care for her? There's still time to back out of things now. I will
not let you off if Yiren falls for you and then you change your mind about

Jili: You know, where have I heard that before? Oh, that's right, I said
that to you when you first showed interest in Mulan. [Mumbles] What goes
around, comes around.

Li Liang [slaps his shoulder]: Well, then we understand each other. [Mulan
starts to walk in the room slowly. She is pouting and looking rather
downcast. Jili hurriedly rises from his chair and walks over to her]

Jili [excitedly]: Mulan, Mulan, what happened?

Mulan: I'm sorry.

Jili [surprised]: What? You spend half the day there and all you come back
with is three syllables, "I'm sorry?"

Mulan [protesting]: I spend a lot of time explaining your true colors and I
emphasized your good points. [Jili's eyes start to light up] I even said you
were a worrywart, that you were afraid of the future and the past, and that
you had the courage of a mouse.

Jili [interrupting]: Hey, how come none of it is anything flattering? [Looks
hurt and glances at Li Liang] You two are truly a heavenly-matched couple.
You want to make sure I suffer horribly before I die?

Li Liang [to Mulan]: You really couldn't get anywhere with her?

Mulan: Yiren refuses to agree. What can I do about that? Hey, Jili, since
you know things that no one else understands, that will make everything
easier. As long as you say that you want to have a family, just say the word
and I will get a matchmaker for you.

Jili: What do you mean? Are you saying that you want me to give up?

Mulan: Why be so hard on yourself? I spent most of the day talking to Yiren
and I can tell that she's given up on you. Back when she was smitten with
Brother Liang, you have no idea how tender she was. Now I've seen the way
she treats you, with a left and a right, it makes me feel cold just watching
her. Even if you married her, she wouldn't give you the time of day. [Jili
feels his cheek as if remembering the numerous times Yiren has slapped him
and gets a wistful look on his face]

Li Liang: Mulan, the way you are saying things, do you want them to get
together or are you trying to split them apart?

Mulan: Originally, I wanted them to get together. But now, I want them to
split apart. Are we supposed to let Jili keep bashing his head on an
unmoving obstacle even if we know this road is going nowhere? Jili, forget
about it. This world is full of beautiful women.

Jili [holds hand up]: Okay. Say no more. Both of you don't need to say
anything else. Since you won't help me, I'll help myself, then. It's not
that Yiren has me pegged for life, it's that I'm going to marry her for
sure. [He strides out of the room]

Mulan [calls after him]: Jili, make sure you think things through. [She
smirks as he leaves]

Li Liang [chastises her]: Mulan, even if Jili and Yiren are not the most
perfect couple the gods created, you shouldn't be saying those things. [He
pauses when he notices Mulan trying to hide a grin then looks as if a new
thought dawned on him. Yiren emerges from behind the doorway wearing a
self-satisfied smile] Oh, so you two banded together to trick him. [He
starts grinning]

Mulan [to Yiren]: Did you hear what he said? He said he would marry you for
sure. Are you satisfied?

Yiren: Well, we'll see how he performs in the future.

Mulan: Don't forget not to overdo it. If he really does run away, I don't
want to see you crying there in the corner again.

Yiren [gruffly]: If he were to leave I wouldn't care an iota. [She grins and
flounces out of the room]

Mulan: Brother Liang, do you see how lucky you are? Did I ever treat you
like that before?

Li Liang: Well, I am a lot more dashing than he is. If you did that to me,
wouldn't you worry about me running away?

[Mulan doesn't say anything but smirks at him]

[Cut to city street. Jili is talking to the vendor he bought the ba beans
from in a previous episode. He is counting out some money and reluctantly
parting with his coins. After paying the vendor, he whispers in his ear with
some instructions. The vendor nods, then quickly walks off]

[The next scene shows Yiren walking down the street. A passerby approaches
her and says something quickly in passing]

Passerby: Miss Xu, Su Jili likes you.

[Yiren looks puzzled, as if she doesn't quite believe her ears]

Yiren: What?

[Another passerby approaches her, this time, it's the vendor]

Vendor: Miss Xu, Su Jili says it's all his fault. He apologizes. [He walks
off, leaving a bewildered Yiren]

Yiren: Hey!

[Jili is anxiously watching the scene from a corner. Another passerby walks
up to Yiren]

Passerby: Miss Xu, you've already scolded him quite thoroughly. How about
letting him off now? [Walks off without another word]

Third Passerby: Miss Xu, forgive him. [He points in the direction where Jili
is standing. Yiren turns and spots Jili, who smiles weakly at her]

[Cut to road outside of the city]

Yiren: Su Jili, what the heck were you thinking?

Jili: This is called professing my feelings to the world to demonstrate that
I'm serious.

Yiren: Humph! [She turns and starts to walk away, but Jili grabs her arm]

Jili: Yiren, it's true that in the past I was a little paranoid; that's why
I didn't dare tell you. But today, I'm going to tell you in person. I, Su
Jili, really truly like you. It's true, I really do like you. Even if the
Jade Emperor were to appear right now and summon me back to heaven, I would
still have these words on my lips: "I like you."

Yiren: Humph! You liking me is your own business. I have no feelings towards
you anymore.

Jili [crestfallen]: No feelings? Are you telling me the truth?

Yiren [coolly]: Who'd lie?

Jili [shocked and quiet]: Oh. Okay. Well, if I stay around and bother you
anymore, it will just irritate you. When I was in the monastery recently I
got the assistance of one of the immortals I used to know. He gave me a pill
that would let me shed this mortal coil. I didn't want to take it before
because I couldn't bear to leave you. But now, staying here is pointless.
Once I eat it, I'll immediately leave this mortal realm and rise up to
heaven. We will never meet again. I will never be back to annoy you. My
mortal shell will remain here. My last request is if you could ask Mulan to
sweep up my body. Please.

[Yiren slowly looks frightened at what Jili is saying. She still hasn't
turned around to look, but is much less self-assured. Jili produces a small
green pill from his pocket and rolls it in his fingers, eyeing it warily.
Yiren's eyes grow wide with fear when she sees the pill and she hurries over
to grab Jili's hand]

Yiren: I forbid you to eat it and ascend to heaven!

Jili [sadly]: You refuse to accept my good intentions, so what's the use of
staying here? I may as well go back to the celestial realms and become an
immortal again, right?

Yiren: No! [She wrenches his hand away and takes the pill from him]

Jili: No! No! No! Why not?

Yiren [shortly]: Cousin-In-Law is your foster sister. If you go back to
heaven, she'll be upset.

Jili: The reason I'm stuck in the mortal realms is because I wanted to help
her. Actually, Mulan feels quite guilty about that. If go back to the
celestial realms, she'll be happy. She will be happy for me. [Sighs. Yiren
tries to think of another tack to use]

Yiren: Um. The Tujue are always threatening to attack us. Stay and fight to
help all the innocent civilians.

Jili [sighs and shakes his head]: I have no magical powers. If I stay in the
mortal realms I have no skills and can do no good. It'd be useless for me to
stay. Don't try and persuade me anymore. Let me go. Give it to me. [Pleads.
Yiren turns away]

Yiren: I'm not giving it to you.

Jili [begs]: Give it to me. Please.

Yiren: No! No! No! I'm not giving it to you.

[Jili starts to wrestle with Yiren to get his pill back. They tussle back
and forth until finally Jili manages to put the pill in his mouth. Yiren
stares aghast when she sees this. A tear trickles down Jili's face and he
slowly falls to the ground in a crumpled heap. Yiren is horrified at the
sight but appears rooted to the ground. She finally rouses herself and
rushes to his side]

Yiren: Jili! Jili! I like you! I really do! Jili! [She tries to rouse him by
slapping his face] Jili, don't ascend to heaven! Jili! [Slaps a few more
times and starts shaking him roughly] Jili, I like you! Jili! It's all my
fault, I shouldn't have conned you like that. Jili, come back, Jili! [Jili
starts to cough as if he is choking. Yiren helps him sit up] Jili, what's
the matter? Did you come back because you couldn't bear to part with me? Is
it too hard to bear? If it's that difficult to live in the mortal realms,
then I won't insist. Go, then. [She shoves him away and stands up, then
notices that Jili is making a choking motion and pointing at his throat]
Jili, what's the matter? Say something. Do you want me to help you? [He
continues to gag and make a choking motion. Yiren starts to lose her
patience, thinking Jili is putting on a show and not really choking] If you
knew that an immortal needed a mortal's help, you should have said so long
ago. Now we've gone through all of this for nothing. What's the matter, you
thought I wouldn't want to help you? If you get back to it, it just goes to
show that you're crueler than I am. Go on and become that lively and
carefree immortal you want to be. Fine! [She stands up and kicks him in the
chest. He continues to choke and points at his back] Oh, so you want me to
hit your back? Fine! [She strikes a big blow against his back. He starts to
breathe more easily] How'd it work? How are you now?

[Jili reaches on the ground and picks up a small white bit of something
presumably edible. He grimaces and pops it into his mouth]

Jili: Hey, I thought I swallowed it, how did it end up out here?

Yiren [scolding]: What is it? What are you eating?

Jili [mumbles]: I almost turned a prank into a real gag.

Yiren [puzzled]: What was it? What do you mean, "turned a prank into a real

Jili: That wasn't a pill of immortal origin; that was some Ironclad

Yiren [furious]: You conned me again! [She gets up and starts storming away.
Jili, hearing the anger in her voice, immediately covers both of his cheeks
with his hands in case she tries to slap him. He then gets up and chases
after her]

Jili: Yiren! [Yiren is race-walking away from him; he catches up to her and
grabs her arm] Yiren, don't be mad at me. If I didn't make it so believable
you would never have showed your true feelings. You promised me before that
you would forgive me. You can't break your promise.

Yiren [pouts and tries to leave]: You cheated!

Jili [grabs her arm]: Even if the Jade Emperor immediately summoned me to
return to the celestial realms, I wouldn't return. I intend to stay in the
mortal realms and live out my life as a mortal. [Yiren keeps squirming to
get away from Jili's grip but he holds fast] Even if I have to live a life
as free-loading dog I wouldn't mind in the least. [Yiren stops struggling
and looks at Jili] Yiren, I really do like you. [Yiren faints and falls to
the ground]

[Cut to Generals' Residence sitting room. Li Liang's mother, Xiaoqian, and
the doctor are seated at the table. Mulan and Li Liang are standing beside
the doctor, while a maid is standing near Li Liang's mother]

Doctor: Elder Mistress Li, Marshal Li, it appears that the poison in Miss
Xiaoqian's body is completely dissipated. She doesn't need to take any more
medicine. [Everyone smiles at the good news]

Li Liang's mother [happily]: That's great! That's just super!

Xiaoqian: Doctor, thank you for your help.

Doctor: Now, now, this was entirely due to the good karma you earned by
risking your life to save someone else. I just did my best and whatever was
within my power.

Mulan [to maid]: Go to the payhouse and pay the doctor what he is owed.
Also, give him an additional fifty ounces of silver.

Maid: Yes, ma'am.

Doctor [rises]: It's time for me to leave.

Xiaoqian [rises also]: Safe journey, Doctor.

Li Liang: Doctor, have a safe journey. [The family watches the doctor leave.
Everyone looks pleased at Xiaoqian's clean bill of health. Li Liang turns to
Xiaoqian] Miss Xiaoqian, although you have recovered from your injuries,
your body is still weak. You must eat more foods that will help you gain

Xiaoqian: Thank you, Marshal Li, for your concern. I think I have spent too
much time already at the Generals' Residence. I think it is time for me to
also leave.

Li Liang's mother: Leave? Where do you plan to go?

Xiaoqian: I want to go back to my home village. Although I don't have any
relatives there, there is a small cottage for me to stay in.

Mulan: How can you do that? You saved Brother Liang's life. We couldn't let
you go back to living like that again. Brother Liang, we should give Miss
Zhuang a thousand ounces of gold and send some people to accompany her back
to the village. What do you think?

Li Liang's mother [shakes head]: No, that wouldn't be any good. Not in a
million years. The people in Xiaoqian's home village are all freeloading
rascals. If they spot Xiaoqian bringing home a thousand ounces of gold, they
'll be scheming left and right to take it from her.

Li Liang [nods his head]: Well, that's true. However, we can send some
people to the magistrate in charge of her home village and file a notice.
That way, no one will dare try to plan anything to get her money.

Mulan [smiles]: That's good. I have to hand it to you for thinking things
through carefully.

Li Liang's mother [scoffs]: So what if you file a notice? So what if she has
the local judiciary watching over her? When the going gets tough, she'll
still have no one to rely on.

Xiaoqian: Elder Mistress, thank you for your kind thoughts. How could I
possibly accept those thousand ounces of gold? I just want to ask all of you
for a little seed money so that when I return to my home village, I can set
up a cloth shop and live out my days quietly. At that time, those evil
people won't have any reason to come after me anymore.

Li Liang's mother [scoffs]: We can't do that. If other people heard that the
Li family treated our benefactors like this, how do you expect Li Liang and
company to ever face other people or the masses out there?

Li Liang: Mother, I take it your intention is?

Li Liang's mother: I've made up my mind a long time ago. I want to keep her
in the house with us. [Sits down and makes Xiaoqian sit down also] I want
her to focus on recovering from her illness. After she has fully
recuperated, I will find a good family for her to marry into.

Xiaoqian: Elder Mistress, I don't deserve such honor. How could I possibly
accept such a gift?

Li Liang's mother [waves it away]: How could you not deserve this if you met
us, right? Why go back to your home village? Will someone take charge of
getting you married? Women are destined to marry. Are you saying when the
time comes you'll figure it all out yourself?

Mulan: Popo, no matter what, the Generals' Residence is a military base. It
may not be convenient.

Li Liang's mother [crossly]: As Li Liang's mother I can stay here. Xiaoqian
is Li Liang's lifesaver. It's as if he got another mother. Why shouldn't she
be able to stay here? [Mulan and Li Liang remain silent, so Li Liang's
mother stands up in a huff] Well, if it's inconvenient, I may as well move
out, too. [Xiaoqian gets up hurriedly]

Xiaoqian: Elder Mistress Li, Marshal Li, General Hua, if you get into an
unpleasant situation for the sake of my affairs that wouldn't be good. I
think I better hurry back to my home village.

Li Liang's mother [sternly]: I forbid you to leave. If you leave, other
people will say that the Li family is a bunch of ingrates.

Xiaoqian: Elder Mistress, please don't say that.

Li Liang's mother [interrupts]: Li Liang? Are you saying that I cannot keep
someone with me in this house?

Li Liang [stammers]: Um. No, that's not it. That's not what Mulan meant.

Li Liang's mother [pointedly to Mulan]: Then what did you mean?

Mulan [smiling sweetly]: I meant that as long as you're happy, then do as
you please.

Li Liang's mother [smirks]: Now that's more like it.

Xiaoqian [protesting]: Elder Mistress.

Li Liang's mother [stops her]: Say no more. Just stay here and enjoy
yourself, okay? [Xiaoqian nods her head]

[Cut to tavern, where Mulan and Li Liang are sitting at an empty table in a
side room]

Li Liang: Where is Jili? How come he isn't here yet?

Mulan [smirks]: You weren't born yesterday; he's an immortal. An immortal
that you never see hide nor hair of till he magically appears out of the

Li Liang [sighs]: I wonder how he and Yiren are getting along now?

Mulan: Relax. If the gander is making calf's eyes and the goose has ideas,
the twain shall meet sooner or later.

Li Liang [snickers]: Look at you. You're beginning to sound more and more
like a matchmaker.

Mulan [sweetly]: Oh. Sir, would you like for me to help you find a

Li Liang [playing along]: If you will personally arrange things for me, I
have no objections to supporting another one.

Mulan [raises fist]: You dare?

Li Liang [grins]: No, I don't. Mulan, let's talk about something else? Are
you angry that my mother insisted on keeping Xiaoqian with us?

Mulan [pouts]: No, I'm not mad, exactly. It's just, don't you think she's a
little overzealous the way she practically forced Xiaoqian to stay with us?

Li Liang: Well, that's just how my mother is. If she likes you, she'll let
you have your way with anything. If she doesn't like you, she won't even
give you the time of day.

Mulan [sighs]: Ah, well, I know that I must belong to the latter category.
Isn't that right?

Li Liang: Of course not. However, she's been spending a lot of time visiting
fortunetellers so she looks a bit askance at you. Just wait until you give
birth to a passel of plump and cute little friends; she'll see you in a
different light then.

Mulan [pouts]: I'm still working on the first one, let alone a passel. What
do you think I am, a sow? [A waiter comes over with a teapot on a tray]

Li Liang: Well, then let's start with one.

Waiter: Sure, start with one what? [Mulan giggles and Li Liang looks a
little surprised that the waiter is there]

Li Liang: Um. Give us a few more minutes. We'll order something in a little
while. [The waiter leaves the room while Mulan continues to giggle. Jili
peers in the room and grins at the sight of Li Liang and Mulan laughing]

Jili: What do the two of you find so funny? May I join in the joke?

Li Liang: Oh, it's nothing, Jili. Have a seat.

Mulan: Hey, are you here alone?

Jili: Do you mind if I bring another person in with me?

Mulan: Of course you can. Welcome.

[Jili claps his hands once loudly and starts making strange birdcalls or
something, but no one appears. He repeats the calls]

Mulan [clears throat]: Yiren, come on inside! Even an ugly daughter-in-law
has to see her popo eventually, especially since you're not ugly.

[Yiren comes charging into the room]

Yiren [to Mulan]: You knew already that it was me? [Turns to Jili] You! Did
you tell the secret? [Jili doesn't say anything and just puts his arm around
her shoulders, then draws her closer]

Jili: Attitude. Attitude. [Yiren seems to remember herself, then snuggles on
his shoulder. Mulan giggles at the sight and even Li Liang smiles]

Mulan: Did that need Jili to share the secret? If it wasn't you, are you
saying it was Liu Xiangzi? Hm, it looks like you two have made up.

Li Liang: Come sit down and we can talk about this. Don't keep standing
there all intimate. [Jili and Yiren continue to snuggle while standing up.
Jili dusts off the bench then bounces into his seat. Both he and Yiren sit
down with Mulan and Li Liang. Li Liang eyes Jili with a gleam in his eyes]
Jili, what famous hall is this meal taking place in?

Jili: This meal is just for convenience.

Mulan [frowning]: Hey, it's isn't expressly to thank me as your matchmaker?

Jili: Well, you said that I was a worrywart, that I was afraid of the future
and the past, and that I had the courage of a mouse. So I decided to prove
it to you.

Yiren [blanching]: Oh my goodness! So you really are that kind of a person.
Cousin-In-Law, why didn't you tell me sooner? [She starts using her fists to
pummel Jili's shoulder]

Jili: Attitude. Attitude. [Again, Yiren suddenly turns loving and gentle,
then snuggles on Jili's shoulder. He looks happy and content] This meal is
on me. [He starts to chuckle, as do Li Liang and Mulan] Have you two ever
tried the Shanghai-style roast chicken here and the Hangzhou-style roast
fowl? It's their specialty; we must order some and try it. [He hollers for
the waiter]

[Cut to small gazebo somewhere. General Li and Mulan are kneeling before the
Crown Prince]

Crown Prince: At ease. You can both rise. [They rise]

General Li: Your Highness, have you returned to the palace yet?

Crown Prince: My mother sent word to me three days ago to return to the
palace. I just returned yesterday.

Mulan: Your Highness, if I may be so bold as to speak plainly, if someone
saw you leaving the palace so soon after returning without their Majesties'
knowledge, perhaps they'd take a tale back.

Crown Prince: Don't worry. Before I left today I let my mother know where I
was going. I haven't been in the capital for a long time. I suddenly missed
the local flora and fauna. Thanks for accompanying me today.

General Li: Mulan and I couldn't ask for anything better. [The Crown Prince
seems much more serious and mature than he was before he was banished from
the palace]

Crown Prince: General Hua, the last time we met you were upset over Marshal
Li gallivanting around town. I invited him to join me, so I hope you aren't
still upset with me.

Mulan [smiles]: It's all because of my temper that I blew things out of
proportion. I even ended up getting you in trouble with his Majesty. Your
Highness, I hope you can forgive me.

Crown Prince: What kind of talk is that? During the time I spent in exile, I
had a lot of time to think. I realized my true self and just how much I
liked drinking and carousing. That was truly an eye-opening experience to
realize my limitations. This time when my father punished me it forced me to
take responsibility for own actions and to grow up a little, as befitting a
head of state. Hopefully, it will prevent me from floundering later on.

Mulan: Your Highness, it is your subjects' good fortune that you are able to
meditate and make yourself a better ruler.

Crown Prince: General Hua, you are being too kind.

General Li: Your Highness, what Mulan said reflects both of our thoughts. In
future, you must watch your words and actions so you don't anger His
Majesty, lest you put him in a difficult position.

Crown Prince: I will remember your advice in my heart. [Both Mulan and
General Li bow and nod]

[Cut to Second Prince's quarters in the palace. His trusted eunuch
approaches him as he is playing on a zither. The eunuch dismisses the
waiting ladies so he can have a word in private with the Second Prince]

Second Prince: Since he has long since returned, I was wondering why you
haven't given me a report yet.

Eunuch: Your humble servant didn't want to disturb your pleasant mood.

Second Prince: You knew that my heart isn't in it.

Eunuch: Yes. When the Crown Prince returned to the palace last night, he
presented a book of ten thousand sayings to their Majesties. It was full of
sayings admonishing against irresponsibility. He said it was something Her
Majesty would enjoy reading, so he brought it back to the palace.
(Presumably, the Crown Prince wrote or read the book of sayings while he was
in exile to demonstrate his changed ways?) He even read it twice more before
going to sleep at night.

Second Prince: Yangyong has always liked the fine arts. I never expected
that with this move he would manage to influence my parents. Where is he

Eunuch: Early this morning, he sent people to the Generals' Residence to
deliver a message, requesting their (Mulan and Li Liang) presence.

Second Prince: Li Liang, Hua Mulan, and Yangyong. So they are combining
their forces.

Eunuch: Ever since the last battle with the Tujue, although His Majesty
indicates a bit of displeasure with Li Liang, the Crown Prince seems to
still greatly admire him. In future, if they manage to influence the Crown
Prince and have his ear, well, then.

Second Prince [sharply]: I don't want to hear things that will increase his
power and decrease my glory.

Eunuch [frightened]: Your humble servant deserves to die! Please forgive
your humble servant! [Bows hastily, but the Second Prince waves it away]

Second Prince: Forget about it. Actually, it's a good thing that Li Liang
and Hua Mulan are getting together with Yangyong. To take on the three of
them becomes simpler; I won't have to expend quite so much energy.

Eunuch: I take it that means your Highness already has plans?

Second Prince: You'll see when the time comes. [He resumes playing on the

[Cut to Generals' Residence, where Yiren, Jili, and Li Liang's mother are in
the sitting room. There is also a maid at Li Liang's mother's side. Jili is
arranging several packages wrapped in bright red paper]

Jili [to Li Liang's mother]: Ma'am, these presents are but just a token of
my esteem.

Li Liang's mother: Oh, come, now, you don't need to give so many things.

Jili: And also, I'd like to give this family heirloom. [He pulls from around
his neck the huge jade pendant that Li Liang's mother's had given to Jili
several episodes ago]

Li Liang's mother: It looks kind of like.

Jili [interrupting]: Let me give this to you. Please enjoy it.

Li Liang's mother: So it turns out you and Yiren were the ones that were a
couple. [Yiren smiles shyly at Jili]

Jili: We were careful in the beginning because we wanted to be sure, but it
turned out we were destined to be together. [He grabs Yiren around the
shoulders and hugs her, making Yiren look slightly embarrassed]

Yiren [muttering]: How nauseating.

Jili [gleefully]: What do you mean nauseating? [Yiren starts to snuggle in
Jili's shoulder. Li Liang's mother looks askance at the scene before her]

Li Liang's mother: Well, when a girl gets older it gets harder to keep her
home, so I don't have much to say about this betrothal. However, Yiren is my
only remaining relative from my side of the family. I'm a little reluctant
to give her up in marriage. [Sees Yiren and Jili continuing to cuddle] Um,
you're welcome to visit as often as you can, but could you please tone it
down a little and act a bit more decorous? As for the actual wedding date,
not for at least two more years.

Jili [eyes light up]: Really? Oh, thank you, ma'am!

Yiren [hugs Li Liang's mother]: Thank you, Aunt! [She turns to smile at Jili
happily. Jili responds by licking his fingers and smoothing down his

[Cut to a sitting room in the Generals' Residence. Yiren is doing embroidery
when Li Liang's mother creeps in the room. She doesn't hear her approach]

Li Liang's mother: Yiren? [Yiren jumps at the sound and pricks her finger]
What's the matter? You have enough free time to embroider?

Yiren [shortly]: Aunt, no teasing me.

Li Liang's mother [sweetly]: Is it a present to Su Jili? [Yiren doesn't say
anything but smiles sheepishly] First you two are fighting like cats and
dogs, the next minute you're inseparable. Are you sure this isn't just a

Yiren: Aunt, we're serious about this.

Li Liang's mother [sighs]: I don't understand it. He and Li Liang are miles

Yiren [alarmed]: Aunt, Cousin has already married Cousin-In-Law. Please don'
t go stirring up trouble again.

Li Liang's mother: I'm asking you one last time. You really don't want to be
my daughter-in-law?

Yiren: Cousin and Cousin-In-Law get along just fine.

Li Liang's mother [sniffs]: Fine my foot! I want the Li family to spread its
seed around. I want a hundred sons and a thousand grandsons.

Yiren [chiding]: You can't believe all those old sayings. Who knows, maybe
in half a month Cousin-In-Law will have some good news for us.

Li Liang's mother: I certainly hope so. I don't want to get excited over
something and then find out it's a false alarm.

Yiren: That won't happen. Even if Cousin-In-Law isn't the most fortunate of
people, Aunt, you do have great fortune on your side. The gods will grant
you a big and healthy grandson and eventually you'll have five generations
under one roof.

Li Liang's mother [chuckling]: Okay, that's quite enough. You know how to
cheer me up. Hey, don't stay up too late embroidering. When dealing with
men, you have to keep a little back and not give them everything. Otherwise,
they'll take advantage of you and you'll be on the losing end of the stick,

Yiren [muttering]: That's not what you told Cousin-In-Law.

Li Liang's mother: Did you say something?

Yiren: Um, nothing. Thank you, Aunt, for reminding me.

Li Liang's mother: I'm going to bed now. Don't stay up too late, okay? If
anything doesn't go smoothly, hand Su Jili over to me to straighten up,

Yiren: I know! [Both grin at each other, then Li Liang's mother leaves the
room. Yiren smiles at the bit of embroidery she is working on, then kisses