[Cut to cave in the middle of nowhere. The Outhouse Goddess and Jili are inside. He is sprawled unconscious on the ground while she is sitting up as if she is meditating. A strange glow is coming from her torso (magic?). Jili starts to stir]
Jili [seeing his shirt is open]: Hey! You… you shameless hussy! What were you thinking? Were you trying to take advantage of me while I was asleep? You're really asking for it!
Outhouse Goddess [a bit annoyed]: Now wait a minute! Don't go jumping to conclusions. You've been out like a light for the past several months. I managed to bring you back to health after a lot of effort and magic, yet here you are still yelling at me! Is this thanks I get?
Jili [looking chastised]: So you didn't have any designs on me? I'm sorry, Outhouse Goddess. I'm sorry for what I did. [He rolls over to get up, hurriedly rearranging his clothing] I need to go save Mulan.
Outhouse Goddess: The Thunder God has already saved Mulan.
Jili [surprised]: Outhouse Goddess, you're not pulling my leg, are you?
Outhouse Goddess: Your dedication to helping Hua Mulan touched the Thunder God, so he has already saved her. Today, she has already passed through the crisis (of facing execution for running away with Li Liang). She not only has reunited with her family, she is getting ready to marry Li Liang.
Jili [a bit saddened, but happy]: Well, then I must go and congratulate them. I must leave now. [Looks a bit lost in the cave] Uh, Outhouse Goddess, which way is the way out?
Outhouse Goddess [with infinite patience]: Your love is getting married yet you are not the groom. I'm telling you, don't go.
Jili: The only reason they are able to get married is because of all the work I've put in. At the least, they owe me their sincere thanks for my labor. [Grabs her sleeve] Outhouse Goddess, will you go with me? And where is the exit? Please?
Outhouse Goddess [pulls her sleeve away]: I'm not going. I must stay here and train my magic. I do not intend to remain the Outhouse Goddess. Instead, I'm going to study and train here in this cave, so that one day if my beloved is needs my help, I'll have the ability to help him. I don't want to end up like you, all good intentions but no ability. I will work hard; I will exert myself to the utmost.
Jili [getting in the spirit]: That's a great idea! But I think it's going to get boring and tedious in here while you train. Why don't you go out and have some fun first so you can settle down and focus on your studies? Go to the capital for a lark and then come back again to train.
Outhouse Goddess [looks him up and down]: You don't really want me to go have a good time; you only want to take advantage of me.
Jili: Oh no, you misunderstand. I think it's a wonderful idea for you to go to the capital. You could have fun AND help me.
Outhouse Goddess: If you want to take advantage of me, then take your clothes off.
Jili [shocked]: What? [Looks insulted] I can't believe what you are asking me to do? What kind of woman are you? While I want to rescue Mulan, I won't stoop to doing such low things and let you molest me.
[The Outhouse Goddess doesn't answer. Instead, she emits red lasers from her eyes that catch Jili's eyes. He freezes as if he is struck dumb. She walks closer to him, puts her hand in his shirt directly against his chest, and a bright aura appears around them. Jili trembles with the force of the magic she is inputting into his body. After a few moments, she releases him and walks away]
Outhouse Goddess: I have just given you some of my magical powers. The common creatures you may encounter are no match for your magic. You can go now.
Jili [incredulous]: Really?
Outhouse Goddess: You now can not only fly to heaven again, you now can pass through walls and even tell the future. You don't need me to accompany you to the capital.
Jili: Based on what you're telling me, I can act like a god again and regain the respect due a god. Isn't that right?
Outhouse Goddess: That's right.
Jili: Oh, that's too good! Thank you, Sister Outhouse Goddess! [Reaches over and kisses her on the cheek. She shyly turns away]
Outhouse Goddess [tickled, but mutters]: Stop making me nauseous…go now.
Jili [salutes her]: We shall meet again. [Starts to walk towards where he thinks the cave exit is located, then turns back. He starts to bawl again] Please, could you tell me where THE EXIT IS?
Outhouse Goddess: Why? Just make your own exit?
[Remembering he can pass through walls, Jili disappears through the nearest wall in a blur of light]
[Cut to the new Imperial quarters for the Hua family. Mulan is leading her father, mother, stepmother, and Tianci inside. The maids greet the family as they enter]
Mulan [to maids]: Is the kitchen clean yet?
Maid: Yes, it is clean already. We've made some tea already for the lord and ladies. We hope they will find it comfortable living here.
Servant [introducing himself]: Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
Hua Hu: That's quite all right. You needn't be so formal. [He bows to the servant]
Mulan: Father, why are you being so formal? This is your home; you needn't act that way. [Hua Hu grins sheepishly when he realizes that he is the new lord of this home]
Servant: My lord and ladies must be tired from your journey. I've already prepared heated water for you to take your baths. When you are finished, please let me know.
Hua Hu: Okay.
Tianci [tugging servant's sleeve]: Hey, are there any fun places to go around here?
Servant: Of course there are. I'll take you to them later. [Tianci jumps up and down in glee at this news. The whole family seems happy with their new lodgings. Mulan leads her father on a tour of the other rooms in the house]
Mulan: Father, do you like this place?
Hua Hu: It is very big and very pretty.
Mulan: It's even more lively in the capital. As soon as you are settled in here, I'll take you out to sightsee.
Hua Hu [soberly]: How are your wedding preparations coming along?
Mulan: Oh. The Crown Prince has gotten all his people to handle everything. Father, you needn't worry about a thing.
Hua Hu [nods]: How has Li Liang been treating you?
Mulan: He's been treating me very well.
Hua Hu: He better treat you well! If he doesn't, just let me know and I won't let him off the hook.
Mulan [smiling]: Father, you don't need to worry about me. Your daughter is not so easily bamboozled. If he dares pick on me, then I'll handle him just like I did Mrs. Zhang's son when I took his clothing and left it hanging on the street corner. (Reference previous episode or maybe an idiom?)
Hua Hu [chuckling]: I completely forgot that I don't need to worry about you. I'm just wasting my time. In reality, I should have pity for Li Liang, eh?
Mulan [nodding]: That's right, Father! Just because Li Liang appears shrewd and capable doesn't mean he doesn't have his wishy-washy moments. In fact, I often have him wrapped around my finger.
Hua Hu: You know, daughter, marrying Li Liang and sharing a life together is not the easiest thing in the world. Married people are going to have their occasional spats and tiffs. They are the spice of life and keep things interesting. However, you must not let it get out of hand, lest it damage the relationship.
Mulan: Okay, father. [Helps him towards a chair] Father, sit down. [He limps over with Mulan's assistance]
Hua Hu [looking back on recent events]: Remember when you wished to do some great and glorious deed? You wanted to prove that a woman could win just as much honor as a man could. Well, you've accomplished your goal, plus you've gained a worthy man as your groom. I am truly happy for you. [Continues to limp towards the table and chair, then sits down with a sigh. He looks sad and pensive. Mulan sits down next to him and looks concerned]
Mulan: What's the matter, Father?
Hua Hu: Happy is as happy does. I'm just thinking that there won't be anyone to play chess with me anymore, or admire paintings, or have loud arguments with. Before you were engaged, I was always trying to find a suitable groom for you in the hopes of getting you married off quickly. Now that you have found a suitable groom, logically I should be happy for you. But…I don't know why my heart feels so empty and forlorn…
Mulan: Father, the General's Residence isn't that far from here (her future home). I can come over and visit anytime.
Hua Hu [shaking his head resolutely]: No, Mulan. That won't do. Once you marry Li Liang, you will become a member of the Li family. You must always think of his family first. You can't come running home whenever you feel like it. It…it wouldn't look good.
Mulan [pouting]: I don't care about that. I'll come home when I feel like it. Unless Father doesn't want me to come visit…
Hua Hu [chiding her]: Do you think I would ever do that to you?
Mulan [grinning]: You dare? You're not afraid that I will string you up in the closest tree?
[Hearing this, both Hua Hu and Mulan laugh loud and long]
[Cut to the Mulan and Li Liang's wedding day. There is red bunting everywhere as well as large paper cutouts of the character for "double happiness" (xuang xi in Mandarin). The guests are pouring in and the Crown Prince himself helps Li Liang's mother to the seat of honor next to the altar. She looks very happy at all the attention and that her son is finally getting married. Yiren is at her side, though she doesn't look terribly happy]
Crown Prince [pointing]: Hey, the bride and groom are here! They're here! [Yiren is smiling weakly while Li Liang's mother tries, unsuccessfully, to look excited at the thought of her son marrying Mulan. You can see that she has her doubts about Mulan's suitability as a daughter-in-law. The rest of the crowd is loudly cheering. Mulan and Li Liang enter the room. They are both wearing bright red outfits and each holds one end of a large red ribbon (symbolizes unity?). They are led to the altar by Pudgy, who is serving as a best man of sorts]
Pudgy [getting the crowd's attention]: Everyone, it's time! [To Mulan and Li Liang] First, bow to Heaven and Earth. [They bow in the direction of the altar] Second, bow to the altar. [They bow to Li Liang's mother] Third, bow to each other. [They bow to each other. Both are grinning to each other and very happy] The ceremony is complete. Will the newlyweds please enter the wedding chamber? [Loud cheering and clapping comes from the audience. Li Liang takes Mulan's hand and starts to lead her out of the room when Pudgy and Monkey step in front of them]
Monkey: Now wait a minute, Boss. You disguised yourself as a man and hoodwinked your fellow soldiers for such a long time (I'm estimating about five years). Don't you think you owe us an explanation? [Fellow soldiers that are attending echo this sentiment]
Mulan [smirking]: Oh, so you are looking for a fight, eh? [Gets into a fighting stance] Then, bring it on! [Li Liang's mother and Yiren look so shocked it's a wonder they don't faint. Li Liang's mother is seriously wondering what kind of daughter-in-law she has just acquired]
Yiren [mouth agape]: Aunt, I can't believe that Hua Mulan is able to do such things in front of all these guests without blushing! It's unbelievable! [Li Liang's mother sighs in consternation]
Crown Prince [walks in front of Monkey and Pudgy]: Mrs. Li is a war hero. You couldn't possibly match her skills in a physical fight. So… let's have a verbal sparring match.
Monkey: Verbal sparring match? Your Highness, how do we spar?
Crown Prince: When I went flower watching last time, I learned a new game. Does anyone here have a face veil? [Someone comes forward with a bright red veil and hands it to the Crown Prince] Groom, please take this veil and blindfold your bride.
Li Liang: Blindfold her? Okay. [He folds the veil over and then gently covers Mulan's eyes with it, making sure she cannot see out from behind the blindfold]
Crown Prince [full of mischief, he speaks to Mulan]: In a moment, you will face several men. One of them will be your husband. You must identify him only by touching his face with your hands. But be careful, no touching anything else! [Guffaws of laughter erupt from the crowd at this rude joke. Li Liang's mother and Yiren are even more shocked at the direction the wedding entertainment is going, but they do not dare interfere] After you've felt everyone's face, if you haven't been able to find your husband, I will take you back to the palace and deny you two your wedding night! [Crowd laughs some more. Li Liang looks concerned and starts to protest; he is worried that Mulan might fail and then he will be denied the pleasures of his wedding night. Mulan, however, is not worried in the least]
Mulan [gamely]: Fine. Let's get started. [The Crown Prince brings over the first contestant, Pudgy. Pudgy puffs out his cheeks, shuts his eyes, and presents his face to Mulan to touch. She feels his cheeks and brow, then withdraws her hand in some disgust] My goodness! My hand is covered in grease. This face must belong to Pudgy! [Loud cheers from the crowd. The Crown Prince brings over Monkey to try next. Mulan touches his face in the same manner. Li Liang's mother and Yiren are cringing at their seats with embarrassment and shame that Mulan is participating in such unladylike games] This face is all skin and bones. It must be Monkey. [The Crown Prince steps forward next. Li Liang's mother tries to get up and stop Mulan when she sees this, but Yiren restrains her aunt]
Yiren [whispering]: Aunt, you cannot risk offending the Crown Prince! [Sneering in Mulan's direction] If Hua Mulan had the grace to feel shame, she would refuse to participate.
Mulan: Wow, this face is smooth of skin and firm of flesh. It must be the face of the well cared for Crown Prince! [Crowd starts cheering again. They loudly approve of Mulan's skills in figuring out each man's identity by touch alone]
Crown Prince: Okay, then here's another one. [He drags Li Liang over. Li Liang gingerly steps forward and tries not to fidget while Mulan touches his face. The Crown Prince slaps his hand away when he tries to return Mulan's touch. The room goes quiet as everyone anxiously waits for Mulan's verdict]
Mulan [frowning]: This face is… coarse of skin and thick of flesh. (Idiom meaning "shameless") This kind of person has no sense of shame. [Li Liang looks surprised at her words; he worries that she cannot tell it is he. Mulan smiles suddenly] He's the one! [The crowd exhales in relief then starts cheering again. Li Liang happily removes Mulan's blindfold and grins at her] Now, can we enter our wedding chamber? [With loud cheering, the crowd escorts the newlyweds to their wedding chamber. Li Liang's mother and Yiren remain at their seats, with the former looking so perturbed she is about to burst. Yiren hurriedly starts massaging her aunt's shoulders in an attempt at soothing her temper, but the disgust on her aunt's face is clearly evident]
[Cut to courtyard in the General's Residence. Monkey and Pudgy are drunkenly walking around arm-in-arm]
Monkey: Hey, we have to get up early tomorrow morning so we can return to Three Mile camp in time.
Pudgy: It's a rare chance that we get to visit the capital. We should have some more fun first.
Monkey: Back in camp, Boss isn't the only filial daughter. Let's go treasure hunting!
Pudgy: Exactly! First come, first serve. We don't want to lose out on the best of the lot! [They stagger towards the doorway. They do not notice Jili sitting on the ground blocking their way until they nearly trip over him. They express some surprise at seeing Jili]
Monkey: Su Jili? Boss has sent people out to look for you. Boss and Li Liang have not yet entered their wedding chamber yet. Hurry up and go see them. [Pudgy nods in agreement]
Jili [snaps at them]: Who said I am not in time? I arrived when they were starting the wedding ceremony. However, when I saw them taking their vows… I started to get really sad. [Starts to cry]
Monkey: But we didn't see you there.
Jili: I was in heaven; of course you couldn't see me.
Monkey: Oh. That's right. [To Pudgy] Let's lend an arm to support him to see Boss.
Jili: No! I have my superhuman strength again, my ability to fly, to walk through walls, and even X-ray vision. See… [looks into Pudgy's stomach] your stomach is chock full of rice cakes!
Monkey: Come on, we'll support you to see Boss.
Jili: Stop pestering me and don't touch me! I don't need you to support me!
Pudgy [to Monkey]: Let's ignore him. Let's go to sleep.
Monkey: Okay. Let's go to sleep… go hunt for treasures… [both sleepily walk away towards the sleeping quarters]
[Jili remains sitting on the ground and swigging from a wine jug. He protests and bemoans his fate]
Jili: I'm not content!
[Cut to Li Liang and Mulan's wedding chamber (i.e.-their new bedroom). They are seated at a table and both are still wearing their wedding outfits. Red cloth is covering all the tables and decorations in the room. Mulan's back is to Li Liang and his hand is on her arm]
Li Liang: Mulan, I can't believe that we would really be able to get married. [Mulan smiles shyly] Come on, give me a kiss. [He puckers up and tries to kiss her on the cheek but she turns away]
Mulan [pouting]: I don't want to.
Li Liang: You won't let me kiss you? Okay. Then how about you kiss me? [Mulan is nervously playing with her braids and acting very shy] I want to know if this is really happening to us or if it is all just a dream. Come on, give me a kiss. [He presents his cheek to Mulan and has a goofy looking smile on his face]
Mulan [looking mischievous]: Then you have to close your eyes first.
Li Liang: Okay. [Closes his eyes. Mulan starts to lean forward to kiss him] One… two…[Mulan is interrupted by a knock on the door. Li Liang looks quite unhappy at the interruption. Mulan walks over to the door]
Voice: Open up! Hurry up and open the door!
[Mulan opens the door while Li Liang comes over to see who it is. They are both surprised to see Li Liang's mother]
Li Liang: Mother?
Li Liang's mother [sharply]: What did you call me?
Li Liang [nudging Mulan]: You shouldn't be calling her "ma'am" anymore; it's "popo." (i.e.-"mother-in-law")
Mulan [quietly]: Popo.
Li Liang's mother [ignoring Mulan]: My son, did you hear what I spoke to you about earlier?
Li Liang: Uh…
Li Liang's mother [storms into room]: I knew it! I knew you would forget what I told you. [Sits down and continues her tirade] I told you that no matter what happened and no matter the circumstances, I wanted you to capture that uncle of yours (her brother) and teach him a lesson.
[Mulan looks like cannot believe that her mother-in-law has barged into their wedding chamber to complain of something like this. Li Liang feels the same way, but manages to put on a concerned air to placate his mother]
Li Liang: Mother, you know my uncle. As soon as he heard that the Emperor had released you from prison and that I regained my commission, he was so scared he ran off like a rabbit. Besides, Mother, he is your younger brother, no matter what he's done. Don't let yourself get stressed over such petty things.
Li Liang's mother: What? That good-for-nothing bastard didn't even consider all those years of faithful guidance and support I gave him to raise him to manhood. He had the gall to bring people to arrest me. He made me lose all face I might have had. [Mulan is openly yawning and gesturing to Li Liang to hurry up and persuade his mother to leave. He eyes Mulan with a "I'm doing my best but I can't help it" look on his face] If he's not going to respect me as his sister then why should I respect him as my brother?
Li Liang: Okay, okay, okay. Mother, I promise you I'll send men to flush him out from wherever he is hiding. Is that enough? [Mulan is impatiently waiting for Li Liang's mother to leave; she is fidgeting several feet away]
Li Liang's mother: Earlier, the second cousin once removed of your first cousin once removed said that someone spotted him in the west side of the city. My son, you must send out more people and some spies to the west side to find him.
Li Liang [catching Mulan's "hurry up" look]: Will do. No problem. It's late, Mother. You've been busy all day so you must be tired. Go and get some sleep, okay? [Starts to shove her out the door]
Li Liang's mother: Don't forget what you promised.
Li Liang: No problem, no problem. Don't worry, Mother. [Shuts the door behind her. Mulan is about to fall asleep at the table where she has been waiting. Her head is resting on her arm and she gets a coy smile when Li Liang sits down next to her]
Li Liang: Come on, let's continue where we left off. [Presents his cheek again and expects a kiss] One… two… three…[Mulan hasn't made any move to kiss him. He opens his eyes in surprise]
Mulan: I'm not in the mood anymore.
Li Liang: Not in the mood? I'll see if you are not in the mood… [He starts to tickle her mercilessly. Mulan tries to run away but is quickly cornered. He grabs Mulan in his arms and they are about to kiss when another knock sounds at the door. Their faces fall like rocks at this second interruption] Who is it? [He walks over to see who is at the door while Mulan sits on the bed unhappily. He opens the door and sees his younger cousin, Yiren] Yiren?
Yiren [walks inside and starts to whine]: Cousin…
Li Liang: What's the matter?
Yiren: I know that Aunt asked you to track down my father so she could avenge herself on him. [She starts to cry. In the corner, Mulan is rolling her eyes impatiently as she can sense this visit will take a while to finish] But he's still my father. For my sake, could you let him off this time? [Grabs his arm] I'd be willing to stay by your side for the rest of my life and be your slave as recompense for my father's misdeeds. [Mulan is rather alarmed at the thought. She has a "oh no you don’t" look] I'm willing to… serve you for the rest of my days. Cousin… [She is whining in earnest now. Mulan deliberately coughs a few times to get Li Liang's attention and hint that he should dispatch his cousin post-haste. He looks like he is caught between a rock and a hard place and doesn't know what to do]
Li Liang: Yiren, put your mind at ease. I never considered sending out people to capture your father and bring him back.
Yiren [eyes aglow]: Really? You're not lying to me? [Tries to grab his hands and hug him but Li Liang pushes her hands away] Cousin? [Mulan is so fed up with the scene that she starts to cough in earnest. You can see her patience at Yiren's clinging ways towards Li Liang have reached their limit]
Li Liang: No, I'm not lying to you. You should go to bed now. [He shoves her towards the door despite her constant entreaties that he mustn't lie to her, that he must do what he promises, etc., etc. He finally succeeds in pushing Yiren out the door and shutting it behind her, sighing as he does so]
Mulan [imitating Yiren and using a whiny voice]: Cousin…don’t lie to me. Don't lie to me, okay?
Li Liang [sitting down next to Mulan and laying a hand on her arm]: Mulan, that's just the way she is. Stop frowning. This time, there's no one to interrupt us again. [Mulan continues to pout and does not want to listen to Li Liang's entreaties. A sudden noise erupts from outside] What person is out there?
[Both Mulan and Li Liang turn to see what the source of the noise is. Jili walks in the room with a wine jug in one hand]
Mulan [surprised]: Jili!
Jili [mumbling]: Do I count as a person?
Mulan [comes forward to grab his arm]: Where have you been? Don't you know that I've been searching high and low for you?
Jili: I… I probably don't count as a person. [Takes another swig from his jug]
Li Liang: How did you get in here?
Jili: I climbed over the wall to get in. Normally, I can pass through walls. Funny, but I couldn't get through the outer wall no matter how much I tried. It must be because I haven't been eating right lately, so my magical powers have deteriorated.
Mulan [rebukingly]: There you go again, yammering nonsense.
Jili [shakes off her restraining hand]: I'm not uttering nonsense! [Walks a few feet away from Mulan and Li Liang] Why aren't you two down on your knees? [Mulan and Li Liang look at each other in puzzlement] You two should be on your knees thanking me. If it weren't for me, your wedding day would never have happened!
Mulan [suddenly remembering]: That's right! If it weren't for Jili persuading me to act otherwise, I would already be the Crown Prince's consort now.
Li Liang [smiling sheepishly]: That's true. [To Jili] Well then Jili, we bow in gratitude for what you have done for us. [They both bow deeply before him three times] Is this okay?
[Jili doesn't respond but there are tears in his eyes. Instead, he takes another drink from his wine jug. Mulan hurries over to try to support his unsteady balance]
Mulan: Jili, let me have a servant prepare a room for you to sleep in, okay?
Jili [shaking off Mulan]: I don't need to sleep; I'm a god.
Li Liang: Who said gods don't need to sleep? Even gods need to sleep. [Pulls Jili's sleeve] Come on…
Jili: You aren't a god! You wouldn't know crap about this! [He takes another swig from the jug. Suddenly, a loud whoosh sounds outside the door. Jili's eyes open wide in panic] Oh my goodness! They're here! The Celestial Guard is here to capture me, what am I going to do? [He tries to hide in the room. A glowing Celestial Soldier appears just outside the door]
Soldier [yelling]: Su Jili! Hurry up and get your butt out here!
Jili [to Soldier]: If I get my butt out there, will you let me go? [To himself] What am I going to do? I'm a goner. I'm a goner this time. [He tries to crawl underneath the table to hide. Mulan and Li Liang look on in dismay and concern. Li Liang grabs Jili and pulls him upright]
Li Liang: Jili, what are you afraid of? With us here, even if the Celestial Guard really did show up, they can't do anything to you. Go to sleep.
Jili [panicking]: No…they are already right outside the door. They're at the door…
Mulan [shoving him toward the door]: GO TO BED! [Jili eludes Mulan's hands and bolts back to his hiding place underneath the bed. Li Liang sighs in exasperation. Mulan shakes her head and speaks to Li Liang] Let him do what he wants. There are plenty of available rooms for us anyway.
Li Liang [protesting]: But…this is our bridal chamber.
Mulan [smirking]: Well, if you want your bridal chamber, you can stay here. If you want your bride, you can come with me. [She heads out the door. Li Liang follows close on her heels. As soon as she opens the door, a bright flash of light barrels past her towards Jili. Two Celestial Soldiers appear before Jili as the candles in the room go out]
Soldier [sternly]: Su Jili! By order of the Jade Emperor I am taking you back to the Celestial Palace!
Li Liang [angry]: Who do you think you are, coming in here and making such a scene? [He tries to attack the Soldier but they disappear in a flash of light. The two Soldiers have walked out the door carrying Jili's immortal essence, leaving his mortal shell behind on the bed. Once they are gone, the candles relight themselves automatically]
Mulan [seeing Jili is on the bed and not moving]: Su Jili! [Both Li Liang and Mulan rush forward and check his body but are unable to detect any breath]
Li Liang [surprised]: He's dead!
Mulan [shocked]: What? Jili! [Starts to cry and shake his lifeless body]
[Meanwhile, in another part of the house, Jili is getting hauled away by the Soldiers]
Jili [yelling and pleading]: I don't want to see the Jade Emperor. He will punish me for sure! Mulan! Mulan… come save me!
[Back at the room, Mulan and Li Liang are still sitting next to Jili's mortal shell. She is weeping at his side]
Mulan: So you really weren't lying to me. You really are a god. No wonder you always seemed to appear out of nowhere. That's why you always acted so secretive whenever you did anything.
Li Liang: Who could have guessed that one our friends would turn out to be a god?
Mulan [crying in earnest and still shaking Jili's body]: Jili… Jili…
Li Liang [pats her shoulder]: Mulan, the mortal dead cannot be resurrected.
Mulan [shaking her head]: He isn't dead. He isn't mortal; he's an immortal.
Li Liang: But he isn't breathing at all. He isn't any different from a dead person.
Mulan: But he isn't dead. Those Celestial Soldiers that just came by took him away…
Li Liang: Mulan… [Sees she isn't listening] Mulan, he's our benefactor. We must give his body a proper burial.
Mulan: No! We can't do that! [Continues to shake Jili's body] Jili…
[With a flash of light, Jili's immortal essence is reunited with his mortal shell. He stirs and jerks while Li Liang and Mulan look on in amazement]
Li Liang: Jili! [Shakes him] Jili! [Jili moves and puts his hands together in prayer]
Jili [mumbling with his eyes shut]: Your Majesty, please have mercy. Please have mercy. Please let me work off my debt to you. Give me another commission and I promise I will meet all your expectations.
Li Liang [firmly shaking Jili]: Jili! Wake up! Jili!
[Jili suddenly jumps up, making Li Liang and Mulan jump back in fear. Jili is on his knees on the bed and genuflecting before the Jade Emperor, who remains unseen]
Jili: Your Majesty… I won't do it again! [He repeats this several times until he opens his eyes and realizes he is back in the mortal realms] What am I doing here? I could have sworn I was just now in the immortal realms getting judged for my crimes. [Thinks a minute] That's right, the Jade Emperor was scolding me, then he gave me a hard shove and I fell down here. I fell back to the mortal realm. I wonder if any of this real or not. [He starts to pinch his face to see if he is dreaming] Is this real?
Mulan [comes forward and grabs Jili]: Jili, it's real. You are really here. The Celestial Guard was here just now; they said they were here to capture you. You looked like you were dead. But how come you suddenly came back to life?
Jili [puzzled]: I don't know. The Jade Emperor was punishing me, so why would he let me come back?
Mulan [in awe]: Jili, you really are a god? You're really a god? [Reaches over and touches his hand]
Jili: I… I've always been a god…it's just that you never wanted to believe me before. I'd best be leaving now; I don't want to disturb your wedding night. Good night. [He tries to walk through the wall next to the bed but can't get through]
Mulan: Hey, where are you going?
Jili: Mortals have their mortal paths; gods have their immortal paths. Now that you have Li Liang…you really needn't worry about me anymore, okay?
Mulan [grabs his sleeve]: Jili…
Jili: If we have destiny on our side, we will surely meet again. If we don't have destiny on our side…we can never meet again, no matter how much we want to. I want to take the time now to congratulate you and wish you the best. May you grow old together and have happiness and luck all your days. [Holds Mulan's hands in his] I will always be your good friend. Good bye. [He runs out the door, leaving Mulan weeping on Li Liang's shoulder]
[Cut to sitting room where Li Liang's mother and Yiren are sitting asleep. The morning sun is streaming through the windows when Li Liang's mother wakes up]
Li Liang's mother [to Yiren]: Yiren, look at you. You stayed up the whole night. [Yiren tries to stifle a huge yawn and ends up smearing a large amount of ink on her face (I think she was holding a pen when she fell asleep)]
Yiren: Don't mind me, Aunt. Keep dictating and I'll keep writing.
Li Liang's mother: This is the last one. "No staying out late."
Yiren [yawning]: Okay. That's number 148: "No staying out late."
Li Liang's mother [yawning]: I intend to show her (Mulan) that it's not such a piece of cake to be a daughter-in-law in the Li family! This list of 148 family rules. If you break a rule, you will be punished with another one. Hua Mulan, I don't care if you are the Jade Emperor's daughter. Now that you are part of the Li family, you must obey my wishes!
Yiren [concerned]: Aunt, Hua Mulan doesn't look like an easy customer to deal with.
Li Liang's mother [confidently]: Don't worry. I'm not an easy cookie, either. [She looks over the list of family rules one last time then rolls it up and hands it to Yiren]
[The next scene shows them, followed by two servants, marching from the sitting room to the main family room as if on parade. The background music changes and sounds like an anthem for when the Empress herself is about to grace a room with her presence. Li Liang's mother and Yiren walk in side by side. The former dusts off the main chair (reserved for head of household and guests?) and helps her aunt sit down. Li Liang's mother acts with a regal air while Yiren stands beside her with a smug look on her face. She is still carrying the scroll of family rules and holds it ready for quick presentation to Mulan as soon as she walks in the room]
[Cut to several hours later. Li Liang's mother is trying to stretch out her aching back and her handmaids are both dozing from the long wait. Yiren comes running back into the room]
Yiren: Aunt! Aunt!
Li Liang's mother: Where are they?
Yiren: Their bedroom door is still shut tightly. It looks like they are still asleep.
Li Liang's mother: What? They're aren't even up yet? She just married into our family and she already is acting without proper respect for our family rules. How dare she sleep till this hour! (I estimate it is nearly noon, judging by the sunlight coming in the window) Come with me! [She leads Yiren and her servants toward her son's bedroom; she doesn't look very happy at the situation. They march over to Li Liang's bedroom and are about to pound on the door when Li Liang opens the door and steps outside. He expresses some surprise at seeing his mother there]
Li Liang: Mother? You're up early.
Li Liang's mother [sharply]: Early? It's almost noon!
Li Liang [hurriedly shuts the door behind him]: Mother, not so loud. Mulan isn't up yet.
Li Liang's mother [incredulous]: What? Not up yet? How does she expect to be a proper daughter-in-law? She's only been married a day and she is already lolling in bed the next morning?
Li Liang [tugging his mother away from door]: Mother… Mulan is very tired.
Li Liang's mother: What does she have to be tired about?
Li Liang: Mother, did you know that last night she and I fought a few hundred rounds? (Slang for having sex?)
[Yiren and Li Liang's mother get a very shocked expression on their faces. They look embarrassed at Li Liang's words]
Li Liang's mother [muttering]: Ah mi tuo fuo…(jian4 gui4 bu1 gui4) That's nothing unusual…Yiren, let's go. [She hurries off with her niece and servants in tow. Yiren and Li Liang's mother are both shaking their heads in dismay and mortification]
Li Liang: Mother! Mother! [Gets a grin on his face] Wow, Mother is really amazing. I didn't even need to say anything and she already knew that we had a battle royal in our room last night (reference the Celestial Guard coming for Jili). She was even chanting "ah mi tuo fuo" and didn't look at all surprised at what I said. [Suddenly realizing what his mother must be thinking, he starts to chant himself] Oh my goodness. Ah mi tuo fuo. Ah mi tuo fuo…
[Cut back to main room where Li Liang's mother is sitting in her chair and Yiren is massaging her shoulders. Li Liang's mother has a contented look on her face. A servant walks in to announce that dinner is ready]
Servant: What about the General and Mrs. General?
Li Liang's mother [waves him away]: Don't wait for them. Tell everyone we will start dinner shortly. [Yiren helps her aunt get up and they start to head to the dining room when Mulan and Li Liang step in]
Yiren: Aunt, they're here. [Helps her back in her seat. Li Liang's mother tries to look bored and Yiren tries to look smug]
Li Liang [nodding]: Mother.
Mulan [nodding]: Popo. I'm sorry. Last night…[Li Liang's mother gives Yiren a significant look. Yiren takes the hint and pours a cup of tea, then hands it Mulan, who accepts it] Thank you. [She drinks the tea immediately, not noticing that Yiren and Li Liang's mother are most displeased that Mulan did not offer Li Liang's mother the tea first. After she finishes the cup, Mulan seems to sense that she is missing something] Oh. Was this for you (Li Liang's mother)? Let me pour you another cup. [She pours out a cup and offers it to Li Liang's mother]
Li Liang's mother [turning her head away]: That won't be necessary.
Mulan: Well, then I won't be bashful. [She downs this cup of tea also] I just got up so I'm a bit thirsty. [Yiren and Li Liang's mother are watching in shock and consternation as Mulan downs a third cup of tea]
Li Liang: Mother, are you feeling okay?
Li Liang's mother [pouting]: It's nothing. A country has its laws and a household has its rules. Now that you have married into the Li family, you have to follow its rules, too. [Mulan downs another cup of tea. She doesn't seem to be paying attention to what Li Liang's mother is saying]
Mulan [looking up]: Popo, where you speaking to me?
Li Liang's mother [sharply]: Whom else would I be speaking to? [Points to scroll on table] This contains a list of our 148 family rules. I want you to take it back and memorize them. [Mulan picks up the scroll and skims some of them]
Mulan [smiling weakly]: Family rules. Okay.
Li Liang [protesting]: Mother, we are all one big family. Since when did we have so many family rules?
Mulan [smiling]: Li Liang, Popo is right to give me this list of family rules. Making things clear in the beginning will minimize misunderstandings later on. [Beckons one of the servants to come forward with an even larger scroll; it's about three times as big as the one Li Liang's mother gave Mulan] The Emperor granted us the Generals' Residence for us (Li Liang and Mulan) to live in when we are in the capital. The country is at peace now, but the Tujue's warlike ambitions still exist. Thus, the Generals' Residence serves an important military function. I have a scroll with 388 house rules for this residence. In future, please adhere to these rules when you are here. Otherwise, we are all subjected to military justice and that justice has no mercy. [Hands the large scroll to Li Liang's mother. She gapes in dismay] Miss Yiren, you need to follow them, too.
Yiren [pointing to herself]: I… I have to follow…
[Cut to sitting room. Yiren and Li Liang's mother have unrolled the scroll and are reading through the list slowly. They are only partly through when Yiren starts to look discouraged]
Yiren: My goodness! [Seeing the unread portions] So many rules? I don't know if I'll have it memorized by next year even…Aunt, I think we should take this lesson to heart. We may as well stay indoors and not go out.
Li Liang's mother [angry]: This is unreasonable! I whip out the family rules to get her to submit and she whips out a set of house rules to squash me with. Hua Mulan, you are definitely a high-maintenance daughter-in-law!
Yiren [soothing her aunt]: Aunt, don't get mad. It's not our fault she's a (nu3 zhong1 hao2 jie2) woman without peer. The Emperor and Empress themselves won't day anything but positive things about her. Why would she condescend to the likes of us?
Li Liang's mother: Don't give me that "woman without peer" bull. Stop inflating her ego. In this household, I AM the head!
Yiren [protesting]: But haven't you noticed that even Cousin is on a tier just below her? He speaks to her gently and quietly.
Li Liang's mother [worried]: Oh really? Since time immemorial, women have had to place themselves beneath men. I think Li Liang is treating her gently only because they just got married. It's such a pity that he didn't marry you. That would have been so much better. I wouldn't have to swallow my pride like this then.
Yiren [looking as if she is about to cry]: Aunt…
Li Liang's mother: Yiren, don't worry about a thing. I'll make sure I find a good family for you to marry into.
Yiren: Forget about it, Aunt. I have already decided that I will never marry anyone. I'd rather take care of you until I grow old.
Li Liang's mother: That's no good, you silly child. [Face hardens] It's all Hua Mulan's fault for wrecking all our plans. If it wasn't for her, my plans wouldn't be in disarray and your hopes wouldn't be shot. [Huffs in anger]
[Cut to Mulan and Li Liang's bedroom. He is pouring some wine from a jug into two cup]
Li Liang [sighs]: Yesterday was our wedding night and that gang of Celestial troops stormed in and made a mess of everything. [Picking up cups and starts to walk over to Mulan, who is sitting in front of a mirror preparing for bed] Tonight is our true wedding night. Come, Mulan. Let's have a toast. What do you think? [Mulan smiles shyly, accepts a cup of wine, and gets up to face him] May we grow old together and spend many years together.
Mulan: Regardless of whether it is in the home or on the battlefield, we will always be best friends.
Li Liang: Exactly. Through thick and thin and victory and defeat, we will always be best friends.
[They toast and empty their cups. Mulan gets a shy look on her face]
Mulan: Brother Liang (honorable title for husband), tell me the truth. [Starts to blush] Do you think…I'm too much like a man? [Turns her face away quickly in embarrassment]
Li Liang [surprised]: But that's what makes you different and special? For example, today you've added a bit more warmth and (xiu1 she4), which makes you even more lovable.
Mulan [blushing]: You're laughing at me…
Li Liang: I am speaking the absolute truth! [Silly grin on his face] Come here and take a look. [Pulls her back in front of the mirror] Wow, look at the Hua Mulan of now. She is a match for any fair lady out there.
Mulan: Stop pulling my leg.
Li Liang: It's true.
Mulan: Well, it doesn't matter if it's true or not. All that matters is that you believe it's true. However… I think that there are lots of husbands that can see no wrong in their mates during the honeymoon period. But soon, some will get second wives and others will get mistresses. When all is said and done, we women still get the short end of the stick.
Li Liang [grinning at Mulan]: Look at yourself. It's such a contrast to how you looked just a few minutes ago when you asked [imitates Mulan's voice] "Brother Liang, am I too much like a man?" Now you look like a match for any bitter and unhappily married woman out there.
Mulan: Well, I'm just saying what I feel.
Li Liang: The truth is, you want me to demonstrate my faithfulness to you, don't you? [Grins and leads her to window] Come on.
Mulan: Where are we going?
Li Liang: Come on. [Opens window shutters wide and gazes at the bright full moon outside. It is partially obscured by the clouds flitting by overhead] The moon is my witness that if I, Li Liang, ever forsake Mulan, then may I… [Mulan puts her hand on his mouth to stop him]
Mulan: I refuse to let you continue. [He tenderly takes her hand in his]
Li Liang: I just wanted to put your mind at ease, but you won't let me say it.
Mulan: All I ask is that you always treat me this well and I will be content.
Li Liang: Of course, I will always treat you this well. Even if I was to forget, all I have to do is see the moon and I would be reminded. [Nodding, Mulan puts her head on his shoulder and they gaze lovingly together at the moon outside]
[Cut to a fabric store in the city. Li Liang's mother and Yiren are looking through various patterns and styles when they come across a bolt of lavender silk with a woven floral pattern on it]
Yiren [excited]: Aunt, this silk is beautiful! It would look great on you. [She drapes a length of the material on her aunt so she can see for herself. Li Liang's mother looks pleased at the effect. She decides to purchase it and calls the shopkeeper over to ask the price]
Li Liang's mother: Shopkeeper, how much is this bolt of silk?
Shopkeeper: It's very reasonably priced, only five dollars a yard (cannot find an equivalent for ancient Chinese money, so I am using US monetary units).
Li Liang's mother: Couldn't you give us a little discount?
Shopkeeper: I can't do that. The price is firm.
Yiren: She's the mother of General Li! Make it four dollars and eighty cents, okay? [Shopkeeper shakes his head] What? You can't do it for General Li's own mother?
Shopkeeper: I really can't. This is already a very good price. I'm sorry I can't do any better.
[Yiren wants to protest some more but Li Liang's mother stops her and tells her they should look for something else. They walk away when who should enter the store but Mulan's mother and a servant]
Mulan's mother: Shopkeeper, is the material I ordered ready for pick-up yet?
Shopkeeper: Yes, it's ready.
Mulan's mother: How much is the total?
Shopkeeper: It's three dollars per yard, so the total comes out to four dollars and twenty cents. [He picks up the lavender silk and spreads it out for Mulan's mother to see] Please take a look at this material first. [Yiren and Li Liang's mother express surprise at the different price the shopkeeper is quoting to Mulan's mother, whom they do not recognize yet. Mulan's mother is turning the material this way and that]
Mulan's mother: The more I look at it, the more I like it.
Shopkeeper: The lady's eye is of another caliber.
Li Liang's mother [interrupting Shopkeeper]: What did you just say the price for that was?
Shopkeeper [looking nervous]: Er…
Mulan's mother [turning around]: Hey, how did you come up with three dollars a yard…[The three women immediately recognize each other. Obviously, there is little love lost between them]
Li Liang's mother [stiffly]: Oh, so it's you.
Mulan's mother: Oh, In-Law. This is such a coincidence.
Li Liang's mother [to Shopkeeper]: Let me ask you, what did you mean your price was firm? How come you are only asking three dollars a yard for her yet want me to pay five dollars a yard for the same material? What is the meaning of this?
Shopkeeper [eyes full of respect]: This lady is the mother of General Hua, the famous general that did such great deeds for the empire.
Li Liang's mother: But my son is also a general. He also did great deeds on the battlefield and was victorious in battle. Why aren't you giving me a discount?
Shopkeeper: And your son is…?
Yiren: Li Liang! He's the great General Li to you.
Shopkeeper [eyes widening]: Oh! [Turns serious] I think I've heard of him somewhere.
Mulan's mother [nonchalantly]: He's my son-in-law.
Shopkeeper: Is he the one that General Hua married beneath herself for? [To Li Liang's mother, who is looking mortified and insulted by the Shopkeeper's words] Why didn't you say so earlier? I'll give you a discount, too. I'll give you a discount.
Li Liang's mother [furious]: That won't be necessary! I'm not interested in buying anything anymore! [Leaves the store in a huff with Yiren behind her]
Shopkeeper [chasing after them]: Lady Li! Lady Li! [Runs back to Mulan's mother] Lady Hua, what should I do?
Mulan's mother: I'll be right back. It seems my in-law is mad, so I need to go speak a few soothing words to her. [She heads out the door also, leaving the lavender silk that started the entire mess with the Shopkeeper]
[Cut to city street outside. Li Liang's mother is walking at high speed down the street, still furious at what happened at the fabric store. Yiren is trying to catch up to her aunt]
Yiren: Aunt! [Runs forward] Aunt, stop walking so fast, I can't catch up!
Li Liang's mother [still irate]: Humph! How dare a dog look down on people! They only have eyes for Hua Mulan.
[Mulan's mother comes running up when she trips on a large stone and falls down. When she gets back up, her nose is bleeding. The effect is truly grotesque, as she doesn't seem to know her nose is bleeding]
Mulan's mother: In-law! I was wondering what had upset you. I didn't know that you were mad at my Mulan having a bigger name than your Li Liang. It's such a rarity to have a female general. In the capital, you could throw a rock and hit several male generals. But a female general, now, my Mulan is the first one in the history of mankind! No wonder so many people are singing her praises. [She continues to rub it in mercilessly when Li Liang's mother gives her a hard shove]
Li Liang's mother: Men are the sky and women are the earth. It doesn't matter how super Mulan is, she is still my son's woman.
Mulan's mother: That's true. My Mulan is only Li Liang's woman. However, if you flip that around, Li Liang is only Mulan's man. In the capital, if you mention the name Hua Mulan there won't be a soul who doesn't recognize her name, but if you mention the name Li Liang, how come no one seems to recognize it? He is only known as Hua Mulan's husband; that's how everyone knows him. [Yiren's jaw drops in dismay] My, my, my, to think I used to berate myself for not having any sons. I thought it was a sin against the universe not to give birth to a son. Who knew that the one to bring such glory and prestige on the family would be my darling daughter? I don't have to time to stay and chat; I need to go finish my shopping, okay? [Leaves with her servant. Li Liang's mother is muttering things most likely not fit to be heard in polite company as she watches Mulan's mother leave]
[Cut to courtyard in the Generals' Residence. Li Liang and Mulan are sparring with swords. They go back and forth, executing flying kicks and exhibiting excellent sword-handling skills. Li Liang manages to land a blow to Mulan's chest, which sends her sprawling to the ground. She deliberately exaggerates the severity of the hit and groans in mock pain]
Li Liang [concerned, he rushes forward]: Mulan! [When he kneels to check on her, she swings her sword quickly and places the edge an inch from his neck. He freezes in surprise] What the heck?
Mulan [triumphant]: A warrior never (yan4 zhuo4) lets down his guard. You lost!
Li Liang [pouting]: That's not fair.
Mulan [getting up]: What's not fair?
Li Liang: I checked on you because you are my wife. If we were on the battlefield, you would have long since been finished off. I should be the winner.
Mulan [sighing]: Don't you know that the final outcome is what counts in determining winners and losers?
Li Liang: Then… best two out of three?
Li Liang: In that case, we'll settle this next time. [Turns to leave but Mulan restrains him]
Mulan: No, wait. You may have lost this time, but you might win next time. [Smiles winningly at him]
Li Liang [gives in]: All right. You win.
Mulan: That's more like it. [Starts speaking like an officer] Prepare to receive instructions. Miss Hua would like to take a bath. Do you know what you need to do?
Li Liang [kneeling]: Yes, ma'am! [Smiling] Who said I lost? Today, you get to be the master and I get to be the slave. Here, let me put away your sword.
[Cut to kitchen where the servants are busily working. A large vat of water is boiling for use in cooking and cleaning. Li Liang walks in and tells all the servants to leave and not return for a while. They file out and he is the only one remaining in the kitchen. He grabs a bucket and starts filling it with hot water for Mulan's bath. Unbeknownst to him, Yiren has spotted him ladling water. When he returns to his and Mulan's quarters, she follows him. She puts two and two together and figures out what he is doing]
[Cut to bedroom in Li Liang and Mulan's quarters. Mulan is sitting in a large tub of hot water while Li Liang is giving her a massage]
Li Liang: How is it?
Mulan: It's pretty good. However… the water is a little cool.
Li Liang: Okay. I'll go and fetch some more hot water. [Yiren is peeking in the door and is shocked by the sight]
Mulan: Thank you.
Li Liang: It's my pleasure. Bettors must be willing to pay off their losses. [He walks off to get some more hot water from the kitchen]
[Cut to kitchen. Li Liang has finished filling another pail of hot water and is heading back to the bedroom. As he enters the hallway, his mother and Yiren are standing there waiting for him]
Li Liang's mother: And what, pray tell, is General Li doing?
Li Liang: Umm…
Li Liang's mother: This house has servants to do everything. How come the great general himself is toting hot water?
Li Liang [tries to think of an excuse]: Err… I'm… I'm weightlifting! That's right, I'm weightlifting! [Starts to heft the water bucket up and down to demonstrate] Lifting weights is good for developing martial arts skills.
Yiren [snidely]: Cousin, methinks the only "good" thing about this is for your wife, eh?
Li Liang [frowning]: I don't know what you're talking about. [To his mother] Mother, I'm off to continue practicing. [Turns and leaves] 1001… 1002…1003…[His mother and cousin are wringing their hands in frustration]
[Cut to bedroom. Li Liang opens the door and walks in. Mulan is still in the tub waiting for him]
Li Liang [still counting reps]: 1100… [Hurriedly shuts the door behind him]
Mulan [loudly]: What took you so long? Are you trying to freeze me to death?
Li Liang: I'm coming. [Sets the pail down next to the tub] Mulan, please keep it down.
Mulan [loudly]: Why?
Li Liang [quietly]: My mother almost caught me.
Mulan: So what? Who told you to let your guard down and lose to me? This way, you'll remember next time. Come on, add some more water.
Li Liang: Coming. Only, please don't let my mother find out, okay? [Mulan nods]
[The door to their quarters opens with a bang and Li Liang's mother walks in with Yiren right behind her. The tub Mulan is using is behind a screen inside an inner room so they don't immediately see her. She peeks over the screen and ducks her head again when she sees who it is. Li Liang goes to the door and is surprised to see his mother]
Li Liang: Mother! [Stands and blocks her way from entering the bedroom]
Li Liang's mother [mad as a hen]: I spent so much time and effort to raise you, treating with as much care and tenderness as if you were the greatest treasure on earth. From getting you trained in martial arts to attending the military academy, I never stood in your way but let you develop at your own pace. And now look! You are reduced to carrying bath water!
Li Liang: Mother, it's like this…
Li Liang's mother: You just HAD to marry a woman that's even harder to please than any man, didn't you? Inside of three days, she'll be wearing the pants in the family. She'll have you so henpecked that you'll never be able to lift your head again!
Li Liang [patiently]: Mother…
Yiren: Cousin, you're the man of the family. How can you be caught doing such embarrassing and rough things?
[Mulan walks in fully dressed and her hair done up (how did she move so quickly?)]
Mulan: Popo, Yiren, you are taking this incident too seriously. Carrying water is not that big a deal.
Li Liang's mother: Of course you don't think it's a big deal. You're the one that gets to sit in luxury while he is working.
Mulan: When the Tujue pinned us in Hulu Valley two months ago, officers and soldiers alike took turns cooking, cleaning the weapons, and fixing shoes. Fetching water was the lightest of duties then.
Li Liang's mother [sneering]: You needn't hold your experiences in the army over my head. This is the Generals' Residence, where the Li family resides now. Have you finished memorizing the Li family rules yet? [To Yiren] Tell her what rule 117 says, will you?
Yiren [reciting glibly]: Li family rule 117 - "A daughter-in-laws duties are in the home; they consist of taking care of her husband, watching after her children, and serving her mother-in-law. She is not to call any of the shots."
Mulan: Well, since I can't do this anymore (tell Li Liang to fetch water), then the next time we make a bet, we should have some other kind of punishment.
Li Liang's mother [puzzled]: Punishment?
Li Liang: That's right. Mother, we had a fencing match earlier and I lost.
Li Liang's mother [incredulous]: You lost?
Li Liang: Yep. I lost. As punishment, Mulan said I had to do everything she told me to do without complaint. So… she told me to fetch water for her bath. [Mulan is looking smug and satisfied, while Li Liang's mother and Yiren are looking very chagrined. They turn to leave]
Mulan: Oh yes, Popo? Who made up the family rules?
Li Liang's mother: I did. What do you want to do about it?
Mulan: You only made the rules but you didn't list the punishments for breaking them. What if they get broken? Popo, please return to your quarters and look over the house rules for the Generals' Residence. It lists them quite clearly. [They turn to leave] BTW, you two didn't knock or ask permission before you burst in here. This is a serious offense.
Li Liang's mother and Yiren [dismayed]: It's a serious offense?
Mulan: Yes, it is. The punishment ranges from twenty hits with a board to getting dragged back to the brig.
Li Liang's mother: What? [Li Liang hurries over to separate Mulan from his mother]
Li Liang: Mother, don’t worry. We wouldn't dream of punishing you, okay?
Mulan: Of course not. However, next time could you please knock first? [Li Liang's mother and Yiren both leave hurriedly and still silently fuming at losing this skirmish. Li Liang looks relieved that his mother has left the room while Mulan looks tickled at the outcome] You know, I think your mother doesn't look too happy. Actually, I was pretty lenient towards her. [Continues to smile smugly]
Li Liang: It's nothing. My mother is unfamiliar with military customs and regulations. She'll be fine when she gets used to them.